Stupid Noob Weapons.

Today I thought that I would cover the topic of noob weapons. You see, these are weapons that have been claimed by the gods then returned with godly powers inside of them. Or so they say. I will go through the pros and cons of each of these "noob" weapons.

ACOG M40 - This gun paired with SP, kills one shot anywhere on the body, assuming they do not have Juggy. Don't get to excited though, as you probably already know, adding an ACOG to a sniper decreases zoom from 6x to 2x and also stops you being able to hold your breath. I also find the chevron a lot harder to line up shots with then normal cross hairs. If this weapon went to heaven to get its power, then Juggy went to hell. Barge out with Juggy on and you will only die in one hit to the chest/neck/head. With the bolt action slowness of the M40, you can put plenty of rounds into them from your M16 before they fire the next bullet. Teach them you use cheap weapons... And finally this is by far the best choice for a no scope/quick scope sniper, as the one hit kill limb shots come in handy very often.

M16 - We've heard it 384,654 times before. M16 is for noobs, only noobs use that gun, I would've won if you didn't use the M16. The fact of the matter is that unless a whole new damage engine thingo was created for the M16, it would be underpowered if it was modified in any way. The M16s main attracting qualities lie in the ability to fire 3 bullets with near perfect accuracy, fire 3 bullets at 925rpm and piss people off. No sway (not ACOG) makes lining up long range shots not to difficult. To be honest, if I ever come across someone complaining in the lobby about a gun, I will make it my job to use that gun to kill them as many times as possible in the next game. By taking one for the team I have helped make the world a better place. One more raging quitting noob crying because "I emptied a clip in him and they all hit and I had SP and then he turned around and killed me one shot...". If you are honestly getting raped by the M16 when you come across it, it is your fault, and yours only. The gun requires SP for effectiveness, loses out to automatics in CQC so then Steady Aim is reccomended. Keep in mind that the delay of shooting between the bursts cuts the effective rate of fire to ~450rpm. The gun is not THAT overpowered.

Noob Tube/Pro Pipe - Once upon a time this only weapon went by the name of Noob Tube. That was indeed a time when noobs were in charge. They would often go round in groups of 2-3 all equipped with Noob Tubes, hoping to get a kill every 5-6 deaths, but at the same time not wanting to get anyones hopes up. Anyway... over time these noobs have very slowly evolved and have realised that if they rename the weapon they worship, perhaps they can get more followers. Well that was kinda irrelevant but background info always counts. We need to know the history to fully understand. Now it seems that perhaps they have finally realised that the noob tube is a pretty lame explosive, and that C4x2 or RPGx2 has at least triple the manliness. So basically I never understood why people complained about this, it sucks! Unless you have Sonic Boom they have a small kill radius, but then you can't have a decent perk 2.

So I thought that they are the most complained about, and also just have the biggest reputation as "noob" guns.

-Olly

Hating on Perks

With the upcoming release of COD:MW2 numerous complaints and attacks have been directed at Infinity Ward regarding their ability to correct perks from COD4. This game is not out yet so the people accusing are most likely idiots.But still, I thought I would include some of these issues and whether or not they have had a step or two towards perk retribution. Please note these are not necessarily problems I have, but the problems of the general community.

Martyrdom - People have a problem with this because they can't help but get annoyed at a perk that releases a grenade from the ass upon death for some unsuspecting noob to walk over. A perk that takes "no skill" and rewards death is seen as n00b, but who can resist the chance of dying only to be confronted by a nice +30 because of your good friend sonic boom. So far this perk has no news but an exciting "It's [Martyrdom] treated differently. And I will say this -- it fits in perfectly.".

Stopping Power/Juggernaut - The age old debate of which is the "cheapest" perk. You will hear a plethora of different ideas, such as Juggy is for people that can aim, whereas SP is for sprayers. In a 1v1 fight these perks are perfectly equal the game is literally told to cancel both perks, but Juggy helps in a few extra situations. These include Airstrike, Helis and weapons that do 50 damage. So Juggy does take the crown of cheapness, but unfortunately for the complainers, both these perks will be starring in the sequel.

Last Stand - According to our numerous sources, Last Stand has been reported to give you 15 seconds full immunity as well as increased bullet damage and the power to control time. Once again it looks like our sources have been pure and undiluted noob. Last Stand does give you immunity, but only while the animation from standing to Last Stand is active, which is much less than a second. No word as of yet about the fate of Last Stand in future games.

These are the perks that are most complained about, and the ones that receive the most criticism. If you disagree or want to add something, comment and someone will get back to you.

- Olly